Something you might need to know about me:

"I think farts are funny. Like, SO funny. If you were already my friend, you would know this. It's not a state secret or anything, but I wanted to be sure I came out and said it before you get too invested in this whole thing."
I decided that if I wasn't married, this is how I would start all of my dates. But, luckily, I am married. To a wonderful man who makes me laugh each and every morning. Because he, too, thinks farts are really funny.